How will you have lesbian intercourse? We have asked this question everyday from lesbians of various age groups who’ven’t had lesbian sex as they are stressed they do not understand “how.” Really, listen: enjoying gender isn’t about memorizing 16 positions or understanding the most useful direction to fuck from, enjoying lesbian gender is actually half-animal half-heart and just seldom features it had gotten almost anything to carry out with your logical mind, or intellectual reason, or something you could inform you or what you could read on the world wide web.

And while it’s correct that eventually you’re going to be self assured and seasoned than you happen to be today, additionally, it is true that your body was created understanding how to have gender enjoy it was given birth to focusing on how to consume. Very first time doesn’t have to get an issue, many of us do not actually recall our very first instances. At the same time, if you would like that it is an issue, it could be. But eventually every spouse differs — entirely, completely, completely various — from then.
Just what could we inform you, truly

But — in addition, many folks recall some time whenever lesbian gender felt like fumbling, or improv, wanting to play a sport we did not comprehend, like badminton. Or a hobby everyone else believed we should be proficient at but we had beenn’t. At the same time, other individuals remember hopping into sleep and instinctually being aware what accomplish from the moment of entry. Many folks had intercourse with young men within our teens and failed to bang a lady ’til all of our mid-to-late-twenties, and felt like rookies all over again. So we can understand how you might feel somewhat better knowing a little something before you take the dive.

Women’s sex, aside from queer sex, is normally disregarded by intercourse ed programs. And even though numerous heteros find out about sex with each other within early adolescents, a lot of lesbians don’t begin that very early and/or are not fellow socialized in to the intimate world like straights are, and undoubtedly that our entire mass media society is actually structured about and obsessed with heterosexual gender.

So we’re gonna get back to basics. However, while we write this blog post, we’re a little concerned that we do not have drilling idea what we should’re dealing with. Develop to open up a dialogue for

commenters to talk about their tales and encounters as well as every person to ask concerns!


This blog post (originally printed in 2010 and largely unaltered from the period) centers around lesbian sex between cisgender ladies, although can also be largely appropriate to sex between any a couple with vulvas, and packed with great advice for anyone having sexual intercourse with someone who has a vulva. The language on this page, unlike almost all of all of our gender material, reflects that mainly for Search Engine Optimization purposes. But trans women can be ladies & most truly have lesbian gender, and you may review the our very own a lot of advice on that during these articles:
How To Have Lesbian Gender With A Trans Lady
F*cking Trans Women
Harnesses for Trans Ladies

Pre-Game The Lesbian Intercourse


If you have a vulva and you want to know how to make an individual with a vulva feel well, you have the benefit of using your self for a test topic — not too just what pleases you will definitely kindly your spouse, but it’s a-start. Most likely your showerhead have now been aware of this since childhood, in case you are fresh to masturbation or not used to orgasming, here is
how to masturbate like a champ.
While you are at it,
here’s how exactly to get a vibrator

Being a seasoned masturbator shall help you be an effective lover more than anything else you could previously perform, actually ever. Not only will you know how your partner can kindly you, however you will involve some thought of simple tips to please all of them.


Touching yourself together with your jeans and undies on (you can unzip the jeans, but do not draw all of them down) may be excellent rehearse for your big date to

Twilight Total Eclipse Associated With Sun



When you are turned on, you might feel warm or flushed. The erect nipples will have erect, your clitoris and vulva will enlarge due to improved blood flow. Within your human body, the top of the snatch will expand.

In Addition:

Examine your own insides. The surface of everybody’s vulva is actually a brand new region, nevertheless insides are sensibly just like one another, so it’s a great sneak preview if you have one.


If you’ve got one, examine your own vadge within the mirror. I know you will look at this and imagine “OH our GOD I MIGHT NEVER” and not do so. Conquer your self. Put
a drilling mirror
between feet to see your shit!

Understand Your Vaginal Circumstances, If You Have One

First situations 1st: people often use the term “vagina” when speaing frankly about the female vaginal area, that actually isn’t appropriate. The best phase to suit your exterior genital area is actually “vulva.” The snatch is actually inside of you, hooking up the vulva into cervix. Here Is
a good article from teenage Vogue that enters all the details about structure

Now that you’re sitting here along with your mirror, let’s look at the physiology of a cisgender woman’s vulva.


The clitoris consists of the glans/head (the quintessential sensitive spend 6,000-8,000 nerve endings), the hood (which drapes on the glans) and the shaft (and is an average of 1.9 cm in total). Some clits are larger than others, and nearly all females can orgasm from clitoral stimulation.

Labia Majora:

All of them be your “pussy mouth.” Then,
the labia minora
are the asymmetrical fragile retracts of softy spongy erecticle muscle within labia majora. Some labia minoras extend at night majoras and some are tucked away inside the house. The length/shape of labia minora/majoras is the beginning the place you’ll observe that
every woman’s pussy seems distinct from another’s


: Your vaginal entry is below your clit and urethral beginning (aka where in fact the pee is released). Vaginal muscle is actually elastic, you’ve probably heard that infants come out of it and fists may go into it. The vast majority of nerve endings have been in the external next of the vagina (put differently: don’t get worried about having tiny arms, it is nbd).

a wide variety of vulvas featured within pussy art by jamie mccatney


Put a little finger within snatch. Today generate a “come-hither” motion towards top wall of one’s vagina. Can you believe area with a texture unlike all the rest of it’s feel? It’s a sponge towards measurements of a bean that fills with blood during arousal, directly facing your own womb. Some women find g-spot arousal as well intensive, some dislike it, some adore it, some can orgasm as a result, and some can female ejaculate from it.



The flat region between the pudendal cleft plus the rectum. Some ladies discover this particular area intimately sensitive and painful. Slangily also known as “the taint” ’cause it isn’t the genitals also it ain’t the asshole.

Grooming for Lesbian Gender


You can do practically whatever you desire together with your tresses, although eliminating it completely
makes you vulnerable to bacterial infections
and it can end up being very itchy! Here Is
some research on the locks reduction habits

Tips if you should be going to remove some tresses:

  • If you possess the money and time, laser hair removal is the best way of getting gone hair for the reason that place for your long-lasting. It’s generally said that laser treatment increases results on lighter skin hues, but
    fortunately which modifying
  • For most of us, waxing could be the best/cheapest strategy to “clean” without ingrowns. According to your skin layer tone and susceptibility, waxing may turn your skin layer a lovely hue of crimson for each and every day, very schedule properly. We suggest setting it up accomplished by an expert, however if you wanna DIY, Sally Hansen’s are
    cheap and simple for novices
    and thus is this equipment from
  • If you’re shaving, you might get angry serious razor burn which sometimes appears like some purple bumps throughout your neighborhood.
    Bikini area will help you to with this specific
  • In the event that you shave a couple of days before connecting, whoever decreases on you will feel they’re sticking their own face into a sheet of sandpaper.


Ensure your nails tend to be since quick as is possible and efficiently recorded. If you have extended nails or acrylics,
listed here is how-to have sexual intercourse securely without sacrificing them
. Keepin constantly your arms mega-extra-super-duper-clean is key. Play it extra-safe by utilizing some helpful
latex or nitrile gloves


All of you, your pussy smells great just the means it is! Don’t douche or perhaps make an effort to infuse the vagina with fields of marigolds. It will have a stronger smell for those who haven’t showered or have received actually sweaty, and that’s fine. (Sidenote: the ongoing smell of the lady on your fingertips = secret). But in case your vagina smells so pungently fishy your spouse can smell it in your pants from over the place,
you might have BV
and really should
go see a gynecologist

Doing The Lesbian Sex

In all honesty, we kinda do not want one read through this. We would like one to have to find it yourself, like we performed! All of you, it really is therefore fun and also you arrive at end up being nude or half-naked with another lady! Correct?! Sex may be the most readily useful when you stop thinking and let your body think for you!

There are additionally about 1,000 intercourse tips we can easily supply for the rest of your love life, but today we are gonna stay very



vanilla extract



Simply ’cause you’re both females does not mean exactly what feels good for you will feel good to her. Both of you can show what’s working and understandingn’t through terms, noises, or actual response. Avoid being ashamed to ask concerns or volunteer that which you like. It is just like the Hot/Cold game, but naked plus slippery! Saying “what will you like” is entirely anything we carry out. So is actually chuckling.
We advice many laughing

Lesbian Intercourse Foreplay

There is a large number of circumstances going on within the body region both for people to understand more about, like BOOBS and ears, and playing with those body parts is actually enjoyable AND a sensible way to get lubed upwards before any variety of drive genital get in touch with takes place (if that’s what you want). Some people can orgasm from arousal of some other parts of the body in addition to the vadge, too. (whether or not it’s your or your spouse’s first time becoming penetrated, don’t go with the
jackhammer fuck within five minutes of the first language hug, simplicity into that crap!)

Hands-on Clitoral Pleasure

This is a good place to begin. Rather self-explanatory. Once more, people will need your own hand to become a vibrator many will only wish to be touched with extreme delicacy. Uncover by inquiring!

Oral intercourse is really so awesome
it very nearly feels like cheating. Like were lips designed to go indeed there, or perhaps is that some thing humankind identified on its own? Per constantly, err unofficially of sensitive. This may be “teasing” or “how she loves it,” according to the lady. This might be also combined with fucking/g-spot arousal, but we’re starting quick nowadays, thus, once again, have some fun. Sometimes if you have human anatomy picture issues, becoming eaten down will make you feel actually uncovered. So close your vision, all things are okay. Also keep in mind to
training much safer gender with dental care dams


While in doubt, start slow/soft/delicate and build doing since fast/hard as she wants it. Guarantee she actually is damp before trying entrance —
lubricant is an excellent solution to do that
. After That:

+ start off with your index hand in only somewhat, immediately after which the whole way in then bring in a moment digit if she desires. (Then a 3rd if she wishes, etc etc) never go too quickly, offer the woman time to reply.

+ watch in which the additional hands tend to be! If you have your own index/middle fingers inside the girl, is your thumbnail looking into her internal thigh? Check your crap.

+ Some ladies should not end up being penetrated for a variety of factors, such as vexation, gender identity or gender phrase,
and/or an inclination for a specific intimate character
(as with “we shag you, you do not fuck me.”) If that’s you and your spouse gets in that area, politely move her hand and tell this lady in which you carry out want to be moved (or that you’d quite touch her).


Today, inserting the hand down her jeans or more the woman canal could be your first impulse, or it’s everything’ve observed on

The L Word

, but that’s singular of many magical methods girls screw other women. You will discover 365 strategies to fundamentally dry hump (you


maintain your undies on because of this, it can be simpler, but please do leave your own top, for the reason that it’s more pleasurable). You are able to essentially scrub abreast of any element of her human body or scrub vadge-to-vadge practically for the remainder of your daily life.

More Sources For Great Lesbian Intercourse:

The Greater You Know

  • USUALLY DO NOT YOU SHOULD NEVER compare parts of the body

    . Comments are great! But resist the desire to provide an evaluation of your personal areas on your praise relating to her components. ‘Your [part] can be so far more [way of being] than mine! Waaah.’ = NO.
  • In case you are working with non-gender-conforming individuals it’s best to ask before starting up what is actually okay and understandingn’t. Same for dealing with gender conforming people!
  • You have got the right to feel safe and comfortable, which means
    is vital so is
    better gender
    — kindly get a check-up and talk to your spouse about any STIs you or she might have before leaping into sleep.
  • Whether you are 16 or 36, you are not “BEHIND.” Considering the patriarchy, it will take you about 15 mere seconds to obtain details about an average age from which heterosexual gents and ladies shed their particular V-Cards (16-17), but no this type of investigation exists for lesbians as much as we can tell. Therefore we’ve accomplished a laid-back review of Team Autostraddle, basically an undesirable trial population because all of us are under 35 and certainly “out” adequate to be


    Group Autostraddle therefore, we imagine, most likely a lot more sexually experienced as compared to average lesbian bear. Whatever, by get older and season of “virginity loss”:

Among the totally non-representative trial size of queer ladies, the typical get older for “our very first time” is 19.4.

Relevant Lists

Areas of the body that may be erogenous OR no-fly areas:

+ ears

+ throat

+ hard nipples

+ interior legs

+ legs

+ hands

+ ass

+ small associated with straight back

People Perform and Some Men And Women Cannot:

+ want to be penetrated

+ orgasm from penetration

+ climax

+ incorporate adult toys into gender

+ enjoy g-spot pleasure

+ require handbook clitorial pleasure to climax

+ prefer clitorial stimulation AND genital penetration to orgasm

+ take pleasure in anal entrance or
butt plugs
eating ass

+ usage

+ climax anyway

+ identify as

+ fantasize during sex

+ determine as either a ”
” or a ”
very top

+ identify as either “butch” or “femme”

+ want to be naked during intercourse

+ wish the lighting on while having sex

+ like it rough

have an STI

+ want to

Points That Might Happen Your First Some Time And Include Completely Fine:

and practically soaking all your bed (it’s not urine, we guarantee) (also, it’s awesome)

+ Farting or queefing

+ Accidentally cutting/lacerating the snatch (
this happens to old professionals, also
) (

+ Not orgasming

+ Not being

Acquiring hurt

+ Tensing up while pentrated

+ Bleeding

+ Bleeding from hymen-breakage

+ Post-sex UTIs or yeast conditions

+ Taking 30+ minutes to orgasm

+ your own supply getting tired

+ Crying

+ Chuckling

+ Emotions

+ No emotions

+ Not experiencing like whole world changed

+ experiencing like whole world altered

+ Feeling as you’re on a whole new level of closeness with your companion

+ perhaps not enjoying it

Try not to end up being also goal-oriented. Many people don’t appear the first occasion — many individuals don’t come regularly during sex whatsoever! If neither of you perform, absolutely going to be a second as soon as you feel you are done anyhow, just like the experience is over, and therefore might feel unusual, but it’s perhaps not unusual, it happens. End once you’d prevent any literally exhausting activity — whenever you you shouldn’t feel like it anymore. Merely make fun of and maybe stay nude and hug and talk. Cuddle! Lesbians love to cuddle. Or ask her to show you how she becomes herself down and the other way around — mutual self pleasure is a good back-up plan for when you both would you like to come but can not apparently get it this time around. Plus it’s hot to look at and discover what she does to by herself!

the afterglow




The Lesbian Intercourse Bible

Much more practices and advice for lesbian, bisexual and queer females that draws near this issue with humor and irreverence.

Susie Sexpert’s Lesbian Sex Community

: The address of your book is really strange and 90s, you could download it for $2.99 from Amazon and it is — it is simply FUN. It’s super sex-positive and is deserving of being a cult regular of the lesbian guide world starting today.


The entire Lesbian Sex Book: A Separate Guide for people

, by Felice Newman: The classic. Purchase it, learn it, stay it, love it.


Lesbian Sex: 101 Lovemaking Positions

: we bet that you do not know any thing regarding the Joyride, tongue-and-groove, Toast Her, Gilding the Lily, Peach Gobbler, Hanky Spanky, woman Wrap or Velvet line, do ya? Well you could change that.


Getting Off: A Female’s Help Guide To Masturbation

: From gender blogger and genital stimulation specialist Jayme Waxman.


Our anatomies, Ourselves: A Edition for a Era

: speak to your womynhood.


This new Lesbian Intercourse Book, 3rd Edition

: Interviews with GENUINE LIVE LESBIANS regarding their gender life, provides the influence of reminding you that there surely is lots of lesbians available to you having sexual intercourse and it’s not only your partner(s) within teeny small village because of the water.


Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Shock

: “initial encouraging, sex-positive manual for all ladies survivors of sexual attack — heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, paired, and single — who want to reclaim their unique intercourse life.”

Web Sites:


Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

“Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross are a couple of intergenerational intercourse positive feminists whoever discussion on sexuality and feminism entertains and educates while delving inside Politics of Women’s Sexuality.” Includes
a library of “how-to” videos
for various intimate functions, including “first-time lesbian sex.”


The-Clitoris Dot Com

“whatever you actually ever desired to {know about|learn about|find out about|un